Yesterday I was youtube surfing and came across this video, and when I was at ‘church’ and something ‘the preacher’ said made me think how lucky I am too.
I use the inverted comma’s as I highly doubt you could call my church a ‘church’ – it’s just a gathering of friends and family who want to hang out, talk about some interesting things and about a new way of living; the ‘preacher’ – lol – is more a teacher and a friend who’s just speaking about something he found interesting, something that we might probably find interesting as well. There may or may not be some songs sung, there definetely is some dancing and jumping involved, some clapping too… nobody is forced to do so, some like to, some don’t like to, so they sit it out or something like that… and we all chat for a bit later, then either go hang out or go home for lunch/dinner.
Now i know so many people canvas their church or some Christianity-related meeting like that so that they might be able to drag a friend or some unwilling victim with some lunacy thinking they need to convert every living soul they know, lest they goto hell or some nonsense like that.
Hell, I used to think like that too..But, I am lucky…It really is just as I said it for me now. I know God as I always Thought I would/should and my understanding of him is insane to explain..hehe, and here I am, at a place where my christian family is supportive of me, where I have an awsome relationship with the God that is supposedly behind a great amount of condemnation of Gay’s everywhere, living my life, happy and blessed~
I’ve been to quite a few churches, catholic and the various forms of christian… basically i’ve been able to experience ‘the God experience’ from many perspectives. God knows, lol – not many suited my palette, I think its because deep down I had my own idea what “the God experience” should be like. Something that definetely wasn’t hell-bent of making me feel like such a lowlife, something that was so fixated on playing emotional/mind games with me so that i might volunteer time and money to further their own organized religion based causes like some kind of twisted pyramid scheme- where, if you manage to bring enough people to ‘the kingdom’ and managed to live an outwardly morally-upright life… you can go past and collect an eternity of sunshine filled happiness, or else – your doomed!
*sigh* how many fall for that one! Even I did… And then there was the fact I was….. what was the exact term. hmm – ah yes! PERVERTED HOMOSEXUAL SINNER! How could i forget that epitaph… The time they spent in convincing me that I WAS UNWORTHY OF RECEIVING THE LOVE AND THAT CAME FREE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I HAD NO CHOICE OVER, A love and a life of blessing that was mine irrelevant to whatever I do or choose to be.
The miracle was that all through that, I still held on to this almost strange thought that… irrelevant to what they say, I know God loves me…somehow, someway…and that someday, i will come to love him back, and i have my ‘church’ to thank for that!!
Click below to read the lyrics of this beautiful song….